My husband has told me that when he began his quest for the “Truth” that he whole heartily believed that what he would find is that Christianity and God and the Bible were infallible. He has stated that he was shocked when it all began to come together for him and he began to see that the Bible was in fact very confusing and not at all infallible. To him this answered so many questions that he had as a Christian. The answers that he got from fellow Christians were never good enough and mostly consisted of “just because” and “God always has a plan”. To him and I have to admit to me as well, that was NOT good enough. Why must children suffer so being murdered, molested, sick with incurable illnesses? Why must families lose loved ones to anything other than old age if they were truly Christian, living their lives for Christ. Why were those many upon thousands of prayer not answered? His conclusion because there is no one, or at least the one we know in the Bible listening. Life has it’s own course and pretty much your on your own to make of it what you may. Sometimes I think he’s right. To him this was very freeing. Freeing in the sense that he no longer had to question why his prayers were not good enough, why when he had the faith, faith larger than a grain of mustard seed, his prayers were not answered, I must add mine weren’t either. It answered most if not all of his questions he had as a Christian.
It however was not freeing to me. I must say at first I was so very angry at the AH for doing this. I often asked him and still do at times, how could you do this to me? What I realize now is that he was not doing anything to me, he was only trying to find answers for himself and he honestly didn’t realize how life changing that would be to not only him but me. He has apologized for hurting me and causing so much confusion. He does love me and I him. Something good has come from this. As strangely as is sounds I respect him so much more now. I respect that unlike me he has the fortitude to go against the grain. I respect that he had questions and he took years and months to find his truth. I must start my own quest now, I’m scared what I might find.