Advice on Aisle 3

I was in Wal-Mart on Wednesday. In the boys clothing section looking for some sweat pants for my boys. They both want to be dogs, I’m attempting to make said dog costumes. While browsing a man, about my age, asked what size of coat should he get a two year old. I admit the sizing is a bit confusing and I had trouble with it at first. He is not the first man to ask me this in the clothing section. So I answered a 24mo is basically the same thing as a 2T. He said thanks and threw the coat in his basket. Back I went to browsing, but then he started talking to me again.

He began to tell me that his wife has guy friends over all the time. Like for hours and they smoke pot and sleep at his house and their clothes are there, while he is away at work. He was quite distraught about this and asked me what I thought. Trying to think of a way to be politically correct and not take sides because I don’t know the other side of the story. And you know the saying there is your side, my side and the truth. Anyway, I say “wow it sounds like you have some tough decisions ahead of you.” Here is where I smile and think OK just going to start walking now, but that’s not what happens. The guy keeps talking and says his wife says she needs to share her feeling with friends and everyone needs friends. The dude agrees with this but adds that she won’t share her feelings with him and her friend is a dude. And she is with him all.the.time. He goes on to say he is really stressed and that he has school exams coming up that he should be studying for and he has work and on and on. He wants my opinion on what to do.

By this point I’ve been standing there 20 mins listening to his story. I’ve drawn the conclusion from what he has said that the wife is done. She has told him she doesn’t know if she loves him and she has chosen her friend over him many times. He asks again what I think. I finally say, “it does not sound good. I believe that she has given you her answer. And if she is unwilling to work with you through this, make some compromises, then maybe it is time to move on.” He didn’t like that answer and began to talk again, but did say that he had already decided it might be time to move on.

I felt sorry for they guy and maybe just a little concerned for myself for a split second. While I”m usually a pretty good judge of character and I didn’t think the guy was nutty or lying, I did wonder if I would take a different way home than I normally do or watch for someone following me. No one followed me and I saw the guy checking out with milk and the coat. He was just an upset dude who needed someone to talk to. I guess I was that person that day.

Then the next day I went to Target to get something that I forgot to get at Wal-Mart. I was in the toy department with my boys. They were looking at the ZuZu pets that they want for Christmas. A lady is there looking at them too. She said she was looking for some things for her childrens church. She then looks at me smiles and says “do you have a church” I smile and say “no”, she then says “would you like to come to my church?” To which I say “thank you for asking, but no.” She said “oh” and walked away. That’s the first time I’ve been in that situation as an unbeliever.

I’m guess I’m glad I’m an approachable person, though I’m not sure I told either one of them what they wanted to hear.

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About theagnosticswife

Living in the bible belt, in middle America, with a once Christian husband who has turned Agnostic. I no longer know what I believe.
This entry was posted in Agnostic, Atheist, Christian, Life. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Advice on Aisle 3

  1. Laura says:

    I want to run into you at the store. 🙂

    I’ve been asked a couple times if I’ve found a church yet since moving and doing some community related stuff. It’s definitely awkward because in those situations, I really don’t feel like getting into a theological discussion or explaining why I don’t believe, so I kind of try to skirt the issue.

    • theagnosticswife says:

      Running into you in the store would be awesome and you would be unlikely to ask me either one of those questions, nor I you. So I think we would be safe there.

  2. Michael Mock says:

    The first guy does sound a bit off, at least from your description. My usual answer to those sorts of questions – which I usually run into with people asking advice online, rather than in the supermarket – is that if you’ve reached point where you’re asking the question, you probably know the answer. (Especially if you’re, y’know, asking complete strangers for advice on your personal life.

    On the other hand, it’s been along time since I’ve had anybody ask me about whether I’ve found a church (or any of the related questions). That may be just because I’m in a fairly big city, though.

  3. Zoe says:

    I’m with Michael. My first thought is, this guy already knows it’s over. In the situation though, it’s difficult to face the truth. And he probably doesn’t know what to do about the kids, so is virtually lost.

    I’m one of those people that gets approached and I wonder, ‘What, do I have an Ask Me sign on my forehead?’ 🙂

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