Holly at Twins Plus One, Three Times the Fun asked:
I have a simple question for you: Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in anywhere? You and I are members of what seems like an infinitely small group – atheist mothers of multiples. I was part of two moms groups, but I really don’t feel like I fit in with either of them because the multiples group is so religious and the atheist moms group has all singletons. It’s kind of lonely. Any advice?
I absolutely feel like I don’t fit in most of the time. Religion is such a huge part of people’s lives in most places. Oklahoma is no different and being in the Bible Belt I’m going to go out on a limb here and say pretty much everyone talks about it everyday to everyone. If you don’t believe in a god, it could be the Baptist god or the Church of Christ god, or any other of the denominations of god we have in America than quite simply put, you are assumed bad and immoral. As long as you have the common link of believing in some form of God of the Bible then even though they may disagree with you, you are more than likely ok in their eyes. At least that’s the way I feel about it.
I have to be honest and say I’m not a big group person. I have nothing against them and at times wish I were apart of something like them, if only to find some friends for both myself and my kids. But Holly is right, most groups are full of moms who believe and that is brought up a lot in the group. When I attended church I did join a group and I went on a few play dates, but I really could never get into them and I didn’t connect with any of the other women. I felt like an outsider. Some of that may have been of my own doing as I’m a bit shy in those types of settings until I get to know you. I think sometimes that is perceived as me being standoffish or possibly even snobbish. I am neither, once you know me.
With all that said I don’t really want to join a group where all we do is talk about our religion or lack there of. If I were to join a group I would join a more secular one, that way our beliefs would more align if it happen to come up and hopefully no one would be shocked or appalled that I’m not teaching my children the beliefs of a 2000 year old book. However like Holly, I believe that moms of multiples, who are non-believers, are few and far between. As a matter of fact I have actually googled just that before and I found no one. Somehow Holly found me and it’s so nice to know that there is at least one other person out there who fits that criteria.
So I’m wondering, like Holly, are there any other moms of multiples out there who are more secular in their beliefs? Maybe because of this post, we can find each other? Maybe not, but it’s worth a try.
So, are you a member of any groups? Are you a parent of multiples? Do you belong to your local atheist group? If so what’s it like because I’ve wondered what kinds of things you do?