The boys started kindergarten two weeks ago. Daddy cried. I did not and have not. Though I was sad and I have missed them, truth is I was a bit excited. Of course I love my kids but after being home all summer we were all ready for a change.
The sad part is also the happy part for me. For six years I have not been away from them for more than a few hours. For six years I have dedicated myself to their care and their needs and more times than not I have neglected my own needs to be with or help them. I felt sad that was going to change. That part of my life where they were home with me and not in school, was over. That I had to turn them over to someone else to care for them for a large part of the day, everyday, mad me sad. But then! Then I was so excited that I would have 7 hours a day to do what I needed to do. I could grocery shop and not rush, I could clean and not have it messed up, at least until they got home. I could watch tv and do all the things that I needed and wanted to do. The AH and I could spend the day together! It’s been kind of nice. Oh, who am I kidding it’s been awesome!
One of them loves school and the other tolerates it. However, they are both happy when I pick them up.
So after 6 years of being with them for all but two hours a day while they went to pre-k the last two years, I have time. Time to do something that I said I would do when my kids started school full-time. Something that scares me. Something I’m afraid to do, because I don’t want to fail. Something that is kind of expensive, which hopefully will drive my motivation. Something that could change my life for the better.
I have signed up with a gym and a personal trainer. I’m only doing it a month at a time. I admit that I have commit issues with this because this is so out of my element, but I need direction, someone to show me the proper way to use the machines and to motivate me. So we will see how that goes. Hopefully it goes really well and in a year I will have reached a goal.
Wish me luck, because I think I need it! 🙂