Conversations with Granny

I had a very frustrating conversation with my grandma the other day. She was telling me how God saved one of her stray cats she feeds that was attacked by a dog. She went on about it for a couple of minutes and I just said mmmhmm at the proper times. She said “well he did!” I said ok grandma. She said “you know he did!” To which I said, “I don’t think he did, but it’s ok if you do.” She then said she wanted to know what had happened and who had filled my head with such nonsense. To tell you the truth, I started a curse filled post that day and didn’t post it. I’m so effin tired of people telling me that I didn’t come up with this on my own. They want to know where I heard such things. I’ve started taking great offense to those accusations and I can’t help but get frustrated with them.

She went on for a few minutes quoting bible verses and telling me that I was created by God. I told her I believed in evolution and she actually laughed and said, “no, no, no” then said she questions the “programs I’ve been watching” and perhaps “satan has taken a hold of my life.” Also “why would I want to watch questionable programming anyway?”  Another thing everyone always says is why would I trust what I read on the internet? You can’t trust scientist, I only need to read the bible.

It was at this point that I stopped the conversation and said I didn’t think it a good idea to continue right now because I would be seeing her in a few hours and we could talk then if she wanted. She then threw a spin on it that I haven’t heard before. She wanted to make sure that I would not be cutting her out of my life because we don’t agree on these things. That she loves me regardless. However, she has limited time here on earth and she felt it her duty to make sure I knew about God and how good he is.

I love my granny and I’m thankful for the way she handles this situation, it could be worse, but I’m tired of people insinuating I’m dumb and can’t think for myself. That’s getting really old.

There was a bit more to the conversation, I explained some stuff, which was not a good enough for her and then I joked with her about evolution when she said she thought animals were getting smarter. She wanted to know how I though that could be. I said we are getting more knowledgeable about them or they are actually getting smarter, which would indicate that they are evolving, kind of like we did. She actually said, hmmm, I might need to go look the definition of evolution up again. Yes, grandma please do!

She will continue insisting that I KNOW God is real and I will continue telling her I KNOW no such thing. Gotta love when others think they KNOW you better than you.

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About theagnosticswife

Living in the bible belt, in middle America, with a once Christian husband who has turned Agnostic. I no longer know what I believe.
This entry was posted in Agnostic, Atheist, Family, God, Life, Outing Oneself and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Conversations with Granny

  1. Michael Mock says:

    I think… I’m really guessing here, so take this with a huge grain of salt, but I think you might actually be able to make some progress with Granny – if you can hold on to your patience. Here’s the thing: your mom has control issues. Granny, from the sounds of things, does not – at least, not in the same way. If she did, she wouldn’t have expressed that concern about being cut out of your life. That says to me that, however insulting she may sound, she really doesn’t see your agnosticism/atheism as a… how to put this… “deal breaker”. And that, in turn, says to me that she probably doesn’t realize just how insulting the “where did you get this” questions are.

    If you can convey to her that you absolutely do not want to cut her out of your life over a difference in beliefs (even if that means agreeing not to talk about that disagreement), that’s progress. If you can convince her that this isn’t just an issue of following the wrong leaders, that “where you got this” was a project of careful and deliberate research into the underpinnings of your faith – and that won’t be quick or easy to do – then that’s progress. Heck, if you can just show her that “I can’t consider myself a Christian anymore” doesn’t have to be followed by “therefore I must be your enemy and/or the enemy of all that is right and good”, then that’s progress. If you can remind her that you grew up knowing about God and how good he is, that might help – there probably isn’t much that she can tell you now that you didn’t learn before.

    I keep coming back to the Judo/Aikido/Water-off-a-duck’s-back image, of letting the Uke wear herself out by not engaging her energy. (Uke, in this context, is not exactly an “opponent” – it’s something more like “active partner”, the person who’s doing the pushing or exerting the energy.) It’s a matter of maintaining yourself, not by standing against your opponent’s charge, but by flowing around it, keeping your balance despite it.

    • Good observation MM. You’re right about my Gma. She has pretty much told me its not a deal breaker for her, however that came with a warning that she could not promise that she would never preach at me. It’s what she does sometimes and I’m ok as long as its civil and we can agree to disagree or agree not to talk about it. So far so good!

      I like your analogy about letting it flow by me. I can actually visualize in my head the negative energy flowing by my calm and assertive self. Now if I was always that person I visualize that would be good!

  2. realate says:

    Ok I have read several things about being Agnostic and I thought I finally found others that believe the way I do, but in reading some of the way you feel, I don’t think I am.. Sooo the question is, what am I… I do believe in a scientic beginning, such as the big bang theory… I also believe we evolved.. possibly from water considering we can’t live without it…But I do believe in a higher power…I believe he is the GOD of all things as in the planets and all within them…Well I choose to call the power a him and I do call him GOD…and maybe he or it, is none of those things.. But living in the society I grew up in, thats what I know…I know the earth is more than 13 Billions years old and organize religion is only 5,000 years old… So that was my first clue that I was not derived from a mans rib…I believe we are not alone… How can we be, we are not the only planet out there…My mother is Atheist and she believes in nothing… My question is, where did the water come from? How did it get here? And how was the first seed of man planted?… Big questions and no answers… 🙂 Just sayin… Any thoughts?

    • Hi Realate

      First thanks for taking the time to comment!

      Ok, as for where the water came from as I understand it there are several different theories. Of course wiki is not the final decision on stuff, but it is a place to start. To be honest I’ve not really taken the time to think about this one very much. With that said I see no reason to attribute the fact that there is water on the earth to any sort of god or supernatural being. I would suggest doing some research on the subject, then you can decided which seems more logical.

      Understanding where the first person came from is a bit complicated(I only get the very basic of it), but I think Dawkins does a good job explaining it here. I have the book he refers to, thought I’ve yet to read it, it looks like a really good read.

      I too think the possibility that life may exist on others planets is highly plausible.

      So, I’m no expert I can only give you my opinion, hope it helps in some way.

      Thanks again for commenting 🙂

  3. prairienymph says:

    Yeah, someone just called me brainwashed by Satan when I pointed out that the morning after pill prevents abortions as its primary mechanism is preventing ovulation. She doesn’t even know I’m not a believer but has still branded me enemy. Its no loss to my life if I never speak to her again- we aren’t that close. At least she insinuated I was evil and not dumb. Hope things get easier with your grandma.

    • Thank you prairie! Actually as far as things between my grandma and I, we are good! People just don’t seem to think things through. No one else in my family agree with me on pretty much anything. Had a discussion just the other day with my brother about abortion. Of course he does not agree with me and pretty much called those who are for the right to chose baby murders. Though he did not specifically say I was one, I assume if I agree with the right to chose then I fall under that category.

  4. prairienymph says:

    I found this article does a better job of talking to anti-choicers than I have been able to do. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2012/10/how-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-life-movement.html
    And this one shows the regression of thought. I had no idea most Christians were pro-choice since my bubble excluded them.
    http://www.alternet.org/when-right-wing-christians-stopped-thinking-women-people?paging=off

    I’m really glad we aren’t forced to live in extended family homes anymore 🙂

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