Anothernone contacted me by email a month ago. She had several questions and shared a bit of her story. I promised to answer her question and then I forgot! With all the holidays and such I just forgot. That was until she emailed me again to ask about setting up her own blog. I’m so glad she emailed again because I wanted to answer her and quite frankly she been nice to talk to.
Here is what she asked.
I am asking this of you and anyone else that has deconverted from any religion: Do you regret telling your family or in your case, your family finding out?
To be honest sometimes I do regret telling my family. With that said I don’t believe that it could be kept a secret for very much longer anyway. I outed myself in two ways now that I look back on it. The first being my stance on homosexuals. I saw some pretty hateful stuff coming across my Facebook feed and I just could not let that go without saying something. It was hate filled and wrong. That gave my mom a hint that some of my views had changed. It also, if I remember correctly, got a bible quote in the comment section of a post I commented on.
The second way I was outed was telling her that I didn’t want her to tell my kids to pray to God when they were scared or worried. Her actual question to me was would the AH be upset if she told them that. When I hesitated in my response she knew something was up and asked if I minded if she told them that. You can read about that here.
I don’t regret that they know. I do wish that it had went smoother and maybe that I had done it a different way, at a time when I felt ready to confront their questions and to better deal with their reactions to it. I wish that it hadn’t caused tension in an already at times, tense relationship. I wish my mom’s anger and fear hadn’t made her say some things that have been very hurtful and have resulted in a more distant relationship with her. I regret that I hurt her and my brother, well all my family for that matter, they just took it the hardest.
I do not regret the journey that I went on. While it was intense at times, I do not regret how I think and feel about religion now. The farther away from it I get the sillier some of it seems to me. I have a new-found respect for people, things and life in general. When you realize that it really is the only one you get it becomes much more meaningful. At least in my experience.
Anyone else have anything they’d like to add for Anothernone?