My god is the ocean.

annamariaMaybe I was wrong. Maybe I do need something that I think is bigger than me. Maybe I do need to have something that I can turn over my stress to. Just give them away until I feel better equip to deal with them.

I had a bad evening Thursday night and a really, really bad migraine on Friday. One that actually made me throw up and that was after taking my migraine medicine and two Aleve chasers. It happens when I become super stressed, even though I try to control my stress, it happens in my sleep and I wake up in pain. I wish that didn’t happen to me. It’s few and far between, but it was a hum dinger this time.

It will probably come as no surprise that it was brought on by an argument with my mom. I’m just so confused and hurt.

Anyway, I needed to relieve some serious stress and for years I’ve gone to “my happy place” to do so. Basically it’s a form of mediation or biofeedback. My happy place is, of course, the ocean, so I imagine myself on the sand and I breath in and out to my imagined waves.  I imagine sending my stress out with the waves. While doing this I realized that I have replaced god with the ocean. What I mean by that is to me the ocean is bigger than me. It can give and it can take. I don’t pray to it, but I appreciate it and I imagine giving it my worries, to float off and disintegrate. It’s kind of weird I know, but it really does help me to let go of the tension and stress and I need that because I can’t deal with migraines all the time.

How do you cope with stress? Do you meditate?

Am I the only weird one who can calm themselves by virtually going to their happy place?


About theagnosticswife

Living in the bible belt, in middle America, with a once Christian husband who has turned Agnostic. I no longer know what I believe.
This entry was posted in About Me, Agnostic, Atheist, Family, God, Life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to My god is the ocean.

  1. Eldon says:

    I think it’s a perfectly rational thing to do. I’ve been in quite an unhappy place for a long time now and I’ve needed something to get me through it. So, I’ve taken to looking inward, perhaps finding that missing or hidden ‘god’ buried deep within us. Of course, ‘god’ is a very inappropriate word to use.

    Over the last several months, I’ve been falling towards a more relaxed and honest form of agnosticism. Of course, I’ve ruled out the ridiculous notion of the christian god, but I think I’ve begun to understand that the universe might be more than we actually realize. We are are part of something that is greater than ourselves, and simply finding that place of contentment is what I have been longing for, so very much.

    • In a sense I do think we are all part of something bigger. Part of a system that call works together.

      I’ve gone through stages in this process and there are some times that I am more comfortable in it than others.

  2. bumfuzzled says:

    I read your post early this morning and I’ve thought about it all day.

    Even though I was unable to embrace “god” in the many forms “he” had been presented to me, I have always felt the need to be a part of something bigger. Actually, I think it’s quite common.

    I’m still struggling to find my own place of peace, but it seems to involve lots of trees and privacy. I do love the ocean, but it’s a bit too intimidating/ scary for me to be ON it. LOL!

  3. ... Zoe ~ says:

    Sometimes I think that when we leave a faith based in the supernatural we tend to think that the natural isn’t enough or isn’t part of something bigger. It is. It’s the universe. Hello? Big! 🙂

    I use to suffer migraines. Terrible terrible. My heart goes out to you. Since menopause mine have greatly diminished.

    The ocean has long been one of my happy places. Remember the tsunami of 2004? That event really messed up my minds happy place. I didn’t know if I could ever “go there” again without being triggered. I remember a sense of panic because for a long time I couldn’t go there in my mind when stressed. So I had to think of other happy places. This morning I woke up stressed about mom and her UFO beliefs and I had to just go to my garden and flowers in my mind to circumvent the anxiety of it all for me.

    I also “calm myself” imagining trees. I love them. Always have. I see myself walking inside a forest or the woods and in there I feel a part of the bigger picture, the universe. Same thing in my garden. Put a camera in my hand and I’m just gone to a far better place. Same thing when I pick up my knitting or crocheting. All of these things I consider to be meditation.

    BTW, it’s not weird. (In my opinion.) 🙂

    • The tsunami was distressing to me as well. It helped that I hadn’t been and wouldn’t go to the ocean for years after it because I live nowhere near one.

      When I’m unable to imagine the ocean I call up a memory of a quiet sunset ride on my horse I had when I was about 14 or so. It was a beautiful, quiet ride with just me and the horse on top of a hill with the sun going down. Just the sound of our breathing and the creak of the saddle. I’ve ridden a few times since then and never had another moment like that.

      I’m glad you don’t classify my meditation as weird. 🙂 I’ve realized that a lot of people use it as a coping technique. It’s a nice one considering I can think of a few that are not so peaceful and nice. 😉

  4. ... Zoe ~ says:

    When I was your age (omg I’m old!) I use to put the kids down for their nap and meditate by kicking the couch cushions. 😯 Obviously I was a closeted kick-boxer without an outlet. :mrgreen:

  5. prairienymph says:

    I don’t get migraines- my stress hits me in other ways. I’m sorry.
    But yes! I’ve always found a happy place to do my devotions. Up a tree, out in a field, by a creek or slough. (Prairie girls get oceans of grass.) Maybe my devotions were really about making sure I got outside by myself regularly.
    If I can’t get out, music. And when I ‘dance’, I kick and punch. Or painting. That takes me away. Too far away, so I can’t do it if the kids are around.
    This song: is called Church of the Long Grass.

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