It was recently brought to my attention that some in my family are still mourning my deconversion, which they called a spiritual death and liken it to the pain of a physical death. It’s been 3 years since I deconverted and at least 2 since my family has known. Two years and some of them are still grieving. Still praying for me to change my mind and come back to God. Still worried that I’m going to hell, forever, to spend an eternity away from them and God.
I’m not going to lie, it’s been rough going in some of my family relationships since my coming out. There are a couple that have not been the same since, but I was a bit surprised that it was still being taken so hard by a few. That they are actually grieving as if someone has died. I guess to them I’m doomed to bad things and they grieve that.
Here’s the thing. No one has even tried to understand what happened. It seems no one really wants to know how I got from Christian to Atheist. No one wants to believe that I was capable of getting there on my own. They have/want to believe that it is someone’s fault and that someone is my husband. Instead of congratulating me on at least thinking about this stuff and researching it, even if they don’t like the results, they have taken the opportunity, when it arises, to tell me how wrong I am. How I could never, ever have been a “true” christian and how I must have never really read the Bible and how I must be hardening my heart and now I can’t hear God.
They often publicly criticize liberals and atheist posting things on stupidbook(facebook) about how the liberals and atheist are trying to take away some christian rights of theirs. Several of them are very fundamental in their thinking and as you can imagine we don’t agree on many things anymore. However, I’m the wrong one, because the Bible tells them they are right and they prayed about it. I’ve tried to explain my position, but they are blind to it and have no interest in looking anywhere but the Bible, christian radio and websites for answers.
So instead of trying to understand me, they grieve me and who I am. They don’t know what to say to me anymore. They don’t respect my views, though I have told them time and again I respect there right to believe how they want as long as they don’t try to force that on me. I’ve asked them time and time again to just respect my right to do the same. Respect my right to live my life as I see fit, to support the things I’m passionate about.
Some of them don’t really seem to know what that means or how to do that so we all seem to keep our distance from each other and the relationships grow further apart.
Religion tearing families apart for centuries.